omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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