maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize