Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize