Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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