He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize