he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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