North Korea, Best Korea!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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