I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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