I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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