Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
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Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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