She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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