great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize