i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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