are you still at the devil's house?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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