Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize