dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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