There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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