OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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