they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize