Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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