WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize