If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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