you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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