I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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