my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Say something about gay babies.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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