Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize