i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize