it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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