dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize