I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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