Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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