so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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