He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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