I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize