If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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