Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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