u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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