i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize