dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish they made helmets for livers.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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