You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
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I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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