omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize