I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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