why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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