Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize