I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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