Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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