I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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