i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize