I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
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That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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