So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
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Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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