This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
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The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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