I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize